funny cartoons to brighten your day

found some funny cartoons of things parents say :)

Lost & Found

Top Ten Benefits of Having a Baby (yeah, yeah... besides the obvious)

10. No period for many, many months
9. People are automatically friendlier to you (although often times this isn't a "perk")
8. Big tax right-off
7. Carpool Lane
6. Now there’s a legitimate reason why you “haven’t lost that belly weight”
5. You get to board airplanes early
4. Can eat “alone” in public without feeling pathetic
3. No more awkward elevator silences
2. You finally have a great reason for being late
1. Fish sticks and grilled cheese sandwiches are back on the menu, baby!

And this has nothing to do with anything, but I just love it. I saw it on a onesie:

Control Freak

When I was growing up I always heard about how women with children are always uptight about the first and lax about the next however many. I always told myself I wasn’t going to be one of those moms, the ones who control every single aspect of their child’s lives. I didn’t want to be the mom that forbade candy until 12 years old or worried over the color of poop. I didn’t want to try to force my child to be the perfect image I made for him/her. I just realized in the last few days that no matter how much I told myself that, I became that mom anyway and I never even saw it coming. In the past 9 months i've controlled EVERYTHING! Maybe that’s why I have anxiety issues; I try to control a child when children cannot be controlled. I worry about every tooth that’s early or late and any developmental issues that aren’t the same as the “average” baby. What is average anyway, and why do first time moms feel like their babies all have to add up to the preconceived notion of “normal”. What is normal? Why do I freak out over every little thing, and how do we as moms learn to let go and let things happen? Do we feel like if our child isn’t “perfect” that other moms will judge us for it as if we had anything to do with it? Why does it matter what other people think or say, why is everything a competition? These are questions i’ve been asking myself but I still haven’t come up with any answers. Maybe there aren’t any answers; maybe this is what it means to be human. I’m trying to learn to let go. If he decides not to finish a meal “oh well”, if he decides that he doesn’t want to sleep and becomes super cranky baby “oh well” if he decides to sit up and fall back and bonk his head “oh well, its not my fault”. Sometimes I think that I can prevent anything and everything that could, would and might hurt him. In reality I know I can’t but knowing something and doing something are two different things. He needs to learn lessons on his own, but I can’t let go long enough to allow it.

Hello my name is Lisa, I am a control freak. I’ve been control free for less than 1 hour.

The Great Break-up

the kindness (and rudeness) of strangers

KINDNESS: noun
1. the state or quality of being kind
2. a kind act; favor
3. kind behavior
4. friendly feeling

RUDENESS: noun
1. a manner that is rude and insulting
2. a wild or unrefined state


“Braveness” comes in many colors, shapes, size, and flavors. For someone else being brave might be bungee jumping off a cliff while for me being brave means sucking it up and leaving the house. Every time I venture outside for one thing or the other I have a different experience (usually bad and full of panic and anxiety). Today I put on a brave face and ventured to the supermarket to spend some of the last dollars we have. Due to hurricane Ike and my husband not working for 2 weeks we pulled almost all our funds out of the account so once the bills go through we won’t be totally penniless. So I sucked it up and got to Kroger without a hitch. I grit my teeth and fought my way through the post hurricane crowds and found my way to the checkout lines. While standing there totally minding my own business I get hit from the side by a cart. I look up and this little old lady is standing there staring me down and this was our conversation.

HER: “Excuse me young lady” *in a snotty voice*
ME: *dirty look*
HER: “Excuse me I need by”
*I scoot back so she can pass and she gives me the evil eye*
HER: “I had said excuse me”
ME: “Yah, AFTER you hit me with your cart!”
HER: “OH!? Did I hit you?! Sorry.”
“I DO speak English you know, and i’m not a wetback either”
ME: *dirty look and steps back in line*

WTH?! I could tell she spoke English well and was indeed a little white woman so what was the point in saying that? Also, why the hell was she talking down to ME when I was the one who got hit? If I was any less respectful and knew I wouldn’t feel guilty for hitting an elderly lady I would have knocked her ass out but I have better breeding than that. Now I know I look young, and by some standards I AM considered young but I was taught that you have to give respect in order to get it and she DEFINITELY didn’t give me respect.

Once I went further in line my *very* bad day turned very, very good! My cashier was one of my absolute favorites…i've known her for years. I started talking to her about the money issues and panic attacks and stuff and the lady behind me hands me a card. It’s a business card for a local parenting and resource center. They offer free baby food and other items on a point system if you take parenting classes or whatever. OMG I was so surprised that someone behind me in the supermarket of all places offered to help. Then I go on talking about how I can’t get a hold of my psychiatrist because UTMB is still in disaster recovery mode and is shut down. The same lady behind me told me that she had a close friend who works at UTMB and could have her get in touch with my psych so they can call me! I rarely get kindness from people so it was sooo nice for a change. If only that little old lady from earlier had a little more kindness in her.

Maybe I aught to be brave more often…maybe good things would come of it (then again I could run into more terrible little old ladies)

Just Call me Zen

Last week on the BBC, as we were discussing the last post regarding Sacrifices, one of the moms called me 'zen' in response to my post. I had to laugh out loud (and Dh certainly did when I told him), since generally speaking, I am the farthest thing from zen. In my house, we call it Detail Oriented; in the world of psychology, they call it Anal Retentive and Obsessive Compulsive. I just like things the way I like them. I can't stand a messy house; I am physically uncomfortable. I like making a schedule and sticking to it. I believe that you should never leave the house to go somewhere you have never been before without detailed directions. My grocery list is a spreadsheet. You get the picture.

But, in trying to look at it from the outside, I guess I am as close to zen with Ds as I'll get with anything. The fact of the matter he, he is a baby, and I understand that this is a phase we will get over. I do miss at times being able to make or change plans at the drop of the hat, stay up late watching a movie or doing a project around the house (like organizing the closets - no, that's not a joke), but, at least to me, the fact of the matter is that Ds is the priority. I'll defer anything in my schedule to make sure his needs are met - his naps, his eating, his bedtime, his entertainment. DS said it best, I think, when she said that she decided to bring a baby into her world; it's not fair to expect him to adjust to her schedule.

That's certainly not to knock the Moms who can pull that off. There seem to be certain Moms who don't adjust their schedules and their babies seem to do just fine. Kudos to them. My baby don't play like that.

And please don't think that this is martyrdom; it really doesn't bother me to have to give things up like seeing movies, staying up past 9:30pm, sleeping all night. In my eyes, that's just motherhood. Like DS said, I decided to to be responsible for the health and development of this new person, and part of that means putting his needs ahead of mine. To me, that is being a good mom. Every baby is different, and for my baby, keeping to his schedule is best. Dragging around an over tired, cranky baby around is not worth it to me. Happy Baby > Dinner out with Dh. I know that in a few years, Ds'll be old enough to be at least a little self sufficient, and that his schedule will be more flexible, and we can do more things the both of us will enjoy. We won't have to schlep around 87 different pieces of baby gear, we won't have to rush rush rush so that we're home in time for the next nap or bedtime. Like I said, it's a phase.

In the interest of full disclosure, I do have to say that by having Dsd, it's a little easier for me to see that the future is a little more rosy than those first time parents in the throes of Infanthood may be able to. When I married Dh, Dsd was still a toddler, but even still, we were able to do activities that the whole family enjoyed. We would go to the Botanical Gardens every weekend; we joined the zoo. Not cross country trips, by any means, but fun things where we didn't have to fret or worry about having the feared Public Meltdown; we didn't have to rush to get home for naps. And as she got older, we were able to do more and more things - all the local festivals, kiddie concerts, 15 mile bike rides.

In those first few weeks of your baby's life, you in no way can see this. You feel lost; completely unlike yourself. You have no idea how to care for this tiny, screaming thing and you are overwhelmed at the responsibility. You more often than not feel like a failure. But it gets better. You see yourself again, not just a feeding/diapering machine. You still do those things, but you're still you, too. It's important to recognize that you learn; you get to your know baby and you learn what to do. And in the end, you don't do that bad of a job. Pat yourself on the back! It may seem silly, but when I get Ds to do something I didn't think could happen (like nap when I think that ship has sailed), I put one tick in the Win column for Mom. It may be Mom: 12, Baby: 4,637,291, but it's something.

So the Sacrifice is the New Normal, but it's a temporary thing. Once we're through this phase, we'll be back closer to the Old Normal, but we'll never have our old lives back. Our lives have changed forever. And that's not a bad thing. Our New Normal is a Happy Normal, even if it means a lot less sleep.

This doesn't mean that, as a Mom (or Dad), you have to sacrifice everything. I *love* my job, and there is no way I could or would want to be a stay at home mom. I think those that do so are brave and amazing and have something that I do not. I love working outside the home and having that thing where I am Me, not Mommy. Something I excel at as Me. I'm a new Me, as part of that New Normal. And again, that's not a bad thing. Having this new, precious, amazing, awesome little person around more than make up for all those small things I've "lost." When he smiles at me, or falls asleep in my arms, or I see him learning something new or enjoying something so much... it makes me happy and proud.

So, zen I am. It's hard, and it's not always fun, and everything is different forever, but ya kinda gotta roll with it - or it'll make ya nuts. They always say that there is no love that the love a parent has for their child. And I guess that must be true, if it can make me, the most Type A / OCD / "Detail Oriented" person I know so relaxed and easy going about having her world turned completely upside down.

Sacrifices

So, let me bounce this off you, and you tell me if I am crazy: I believe that when you become a parent, there are some things that you sacrifice. Like, jetting off to the movies whenever you want. Certainly, getting a baby sitter sometimes is just fine, but if the baby is screaming in the other room, do I leave him or do I stay?

DH may be mad at me for not going to the movies with him and DSD tonight. I hadn't agreed ahead of time; I said it would depend on the baby. I let him nap a little longer than I had planned for his last nap of the day (I fell asleep, as he was up all night), so he went down a little later than normal, and DH needed to leave to make the movie. The in laws were all set to watch Oliver, and there was a chance he was going to go down by himself anyways (not crying, just rolling around and moaning), but you never know. And seeing as how he won't take a bottle, what do I do? Leave and risk he cries, hungry and over tired, until I return?

I insisted on staying and making sure he went down. MIL said they could get him up and feed him baby food if he was hungry, and play with him if he wouldn't sleep. But then he would be over tired and would be up all night for me again. Yes, I really, really wanted to go see this movie (Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3D!), but to me, being a parent means sometimes sacrificing those kinds of things. Which neither DH nor the in laws seem to understand/agree with.

So, am I nuts? It isn't an issue of trust, it's an issue of me taking care of my baby. MIL had a talk with me last night, and without intending to do so, made me feel pretty crappy. They feel I do not trust them to watch the baby, which is untrue. I'm not going to leave a screaming baby with anyone, especially if it may be because he is hungry - and I'm the only one who can feed him. Part of me says I need to let go, but at the same time, he is my responsibility, and I will not burden anyone with him either. And is there any way to make DH understand?

Why is this page so boring?

Hang on to your knickers. We're trying to get organized.